Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I have a reading level above third grade

I can count

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Why did Donald Trump look so old during the debate?

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

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I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I have complete contempt for fakery

Why do Indian guys love Russian girls?

I see through liars

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Why are men so attracted to big breasts?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

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I actually pay taxes

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I have complete contempt for traitorism

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If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I know who the president of Turkey really is

How do the police verify the authenticity of an online profile? What methods do they use to determine if a profile is real or fake?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

How is a narcissist likely to handle situations when confronted with hard truths about themselves?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Why does my vagina and around my butthole itch? I don't have weird discharge and I'm still a virgin.

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

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I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

How do I become a Buddhist, and can someone explain Buddhism to me?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I understand how hurricane paths work

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Would the word literate carry the same meaning with public (common wealth) in 1900 vs today 2020?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

What is the Replika app, and how does it work?

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t buy bullshit

I can read

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light